Divorce was the easy part; co-parenting is the real struggle. According to research, at least one child out of five has experienced their parent’s breaking up by 9 years old. It’s difficult to get along with an ex; they’re not your partner anymore for a reason. While you don’t have to be the best of friends after getting divorced, you do need to tough it out and commit to some inner growth for the sake of your children.

Here are some tips for shared custody that will help you give your children their needed security and stability with both their parents.

1. Heal yourself

Before you can even start co-parenting with your ex, you need to work on healing yourself first. Moving on from the past is crucial, or else the lingering bitterness will seep into the new relationship you seek to forge with your children and each other. A happy individual can co-parent with intention and focus.

2. Remember the love you once had

While things may have ended now, there was once a time where you and your ex would have brought the stars down to Earth for each other. When you’re going through bouts of extreme dislike for your co-parent, think about even the tiniest things to love about them and show appreciation for the part they’re playing right now.

If that doesn’t work out, try turning it into a businesslike relationship, where you can respectfully make decisions for your child’s future.

3. Communicate respectfully

Try your best to keep arguments and confrontations away from your children’s eyes and ears; schedule a time and neutral place to talk things out. If you absolutely must bring up a disagreement in front of the children, stay respectful and do it wisely. It can be helpful for the kids to see effective communication between their parents.

4. Be flexible

Stability is definitely important, but so is flexibility. Staying on a rigid schedule with no forgiveness will make your kids feel unsafe and turn them away from leaning on you for support.
Schedules are good to follow but try not to make things unnecessarily difficult when your ex needs an easy favor; you might need that same generosity from them some day.

At The Lincoln Law Group LLC, we understand that getting through a divorce is painful and difficult. You can entrust your case to our compassionate family law attorneys to help you through these hard times. Our child custody lawyers and divorce attorneys ensure the best outcome for every client using a personalized approach. We also offer legal services such as tax litigation lawyers, immigration attorneys, child custody lawyers, car accident lawyers, criminal lawyers, and other legal services in Silver Springs, Baltimore, and Montgomery County.